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Nuke The Whales

28 February, 2014

nuke the whales stuff

This game needs a Nuke The Whales T-shirt. No idea why yet, but it’s good to be ahead of the curve on these matters.

Will fit Teen, Young Adult and Adults.

All items are recolourable, but the logos aren’t.

Please also find a poster picture for your Sims 3 game.

The poster pictures use a mesh with many thanks by Yarona at Sims Modeli, so you do not need any stuff packs for this to work – it’s all base game friendly.

Download

To use, download, unzip, and drop the contained folder into your The Sims 3\mods\packages folder and they should show up.

Enjoy!

Turning Over A New Leaf: Episode 21 – ***’Doyoing!’ (Coco Comes To Dalby – Up Yours Aarin!)***

11 January, 2014

turning over a new leaf simple logo

If there was ever a time to revisit my Animal Crossing: New Leaf town of Dalby, it was now.

turning over a new leaf episode 21-1

One of the best parts of Animal Crossing: New Leaf is the way your village’s change according to the seasons, right down to the camp site switching from tents to igloos when it’s snowing.

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On 5th December, the day before Naughty Or Nice Day, the first snow fell – or at least the snowflakes. The snow covering the ground came later.

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It wasn’t until the 11th that the snow came properly – very pretty.

Twenty four hours later, look what happened to the campsite.

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The inside of the igloo is lovely, but it has not been any improvement on the campers I’ve been proffered to make up my tenth villager. You cannot go over the ninth villager cap unless you ask someone from the campsite to move in, and since villager number nine moved in there’s not been one I’ve really wanted.

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To date I have never asked any of them to stay – doesn’t stop them from doing so whether I like it or not!

But on 7th January 2014, finally, THE JACKPOT!

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Coco is a veteran character of the Animal Crossing series, appearing in every single one of the series to date. Her name in the original Japanese – Yayoi やよい refers to Japan’s Iron Age period in history, and the appearence of the haniwa terracota grave statues – the inspiration of the gyroids which are signature characters of the series (and which I collect to the point of obsession in the museum’s first floor rooms), which she also looks similar to.

Coco is therefore the only true gothic or noir character of the Animal Crossing series. Really. 

On top of this, Coco was treated so downright shittily by Aarin in her game (be warned, this is pretty disturbing behaviour for any ACNL player) that my sense of New Leaf karmic ‘up yours, kione keckagh!’ demands giving her a chance in Dalby.

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But disaster! Coco was not amiable to the idea of a move.

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I was not going to give up however.

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Win!

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Proof if ever it were needed she’ll fit in fine with the others – she’s screwed me over for Bells before she’s even moved in.

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Poor Coco! No one she’s so paranoid about getting on the wrong side of the mayor after last year!

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But after this line, I know this is going to be the start of a beautiful friendship!

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… even if she has knocked down two of my money spinning cherry trees.

Cherry trees? Oh, now that’s a whole new story the Mayor of Dalby needs to tell you about someday…

Happy New Year From Jazz-Hands

1 January, 2014

happy new year happy new year1

Haily Farber Makes A Special Announcement Against Filth And Degeneracy In Sims 3

21 December, 2013

There now follows an official statement from the Commitee Of Public Decency of the Wotchyamacaulit – formed five minutes ago because the Christmas telly is crap again.

Bastard BBC! The citizens would partake in a mass withholding of their TV licence money if it weren’t pirating the BBC’s broadcast signals in the first place.

skeletal screams latest nonsense 1

‘Good evening all members of the swinish multitude of the Simming community. It has come to our attention that a tital wave of filth and degeneracy has swept down upon our world like never before.

‘Once it was confined merely to the activities of one or two basement dwellers in the community making mods for several thousand cave dwellers who need Sims 3 as a sex aid as the last human to ever come into contact with their wrinkly nethers was the school nurse saying “cough!”.

skeletal screams latest nonsense

But now we find such filth as prostitots appearing on the EA forum exchange and homosexual asparagus setting up a solar cannon to destroy the sun with their gay beam. Something needed to be done, and we at Jazz-Hands have decided to put our foot down with a firm hand!’

skeletal screams latest nonsense 2

‘That is why you need to download Fappy The Dolphin and his Friends into your game, and do your bit to stem the tide of filth threatening to swamp our great Sims 3 community. Together we can make our world wholesome again!’

‘We’re only standing here smiling readers because she’s got Willow pointing a 20 mm cannon at us.’

‘Shhhh Switch, they might hear us! Their medication will wear off in about an hour. It was your fault giving them Red Bull Codeine cocktails in the first place!’

Fappy The Dolphin And Friends

21 December, 2013

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A collection of five T-shirts for quite possibly the silliest moral crusade campaign of the year (or any other).

Will fit Teen, Young Adult and Adults.

All items are recolourable, but the logos aren’t.

Please also find a collection of five poster pictures for your Sims 3 game.

The poster pictures use a mesh with many thanks by Yarona at Sims Modeli, so you do not need any stuff packs for this to work – it’s all base game friendly.

Download

To use, download, unzip, and drop the contained folder into your The Sims 3\mods\packages folder and they should show up.

Enjoy!

Happy Play Time

1 December, 2013

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A collection of three T-shirts featuring Happy, the Happy Play Time motif due out hopefully in 2014.

Will fit Teen, Young Adult and Adults  – female only (male t-shirts would be a bit weird!)

All items are recolourable, but the logos aren’t.

Please also find a collection of twenty poster pictures for your Sims 3 game.

The poster pictures use a mesh with many thanks by Yarona at Sims Modeli.

Finally, please find a Happy Play Time iPhone (for use as a normal phone) and one for use as an accessory in CAS (both meshes by Mirel at 4Sims) – which you may find useful for story screenshots if you’ve a sick sense of humour.

You do not need any stuff packs for any of the above to work – it’s all base game friendly.

Download

To use, download, unzip, and drop the contained folder into your The Sims 3\mods\packages folder and they should show up.

Enjoy!

V For Vendetta

29 November, 2013

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A collection of three T-shirts featuring various motifs from the comic book and movie.

Will fit Teen, Young Adult and Adults.

All items are recolourable, but the logos aren’t.

Please also find a collection of eight poster pictures and ten murals for your Sims 3 game.

The poster pictures use a mesh with many thanks by Yarona at Sims Modeli, and the wall sized murals uses a mesh which comes once again with many thanks from Helen-Sims, so you do not need any stuff packs for this to work – it’s all base game friendly.

Finally, please find five graffiti designs you can use in your game (if you want to place on an outside wall, press CTRL, Shift and C before typing MoveObjects on in the control panel).

Download

To use, download, unzip, and drop the contained folder into your The Sims 3\mods\packages folder and they should show up.

Enjoy!

Turning Over A New Leaf: ◊◊◊ Warning About Tonight’s Harvest Festival In Animal Crossing New Leaf ◊◊◊

28 November, 2013

turning over a new leaf simple logo

A quick post regarding the Harvest Festival tonight.

Those over in North America reading this will be in time to act on it.

acnl harvest festival

The only way you can get vinegar or the mushroom type requested if they haven’t grown (or you’ve picked and sold them) is by going to the homes of residents, who will task you with catching a particular fish for them. That part isn’t too difficult.

If you are given the recipe requiring lobster, forget it.

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There is only one way to get this part of the recipe, deep sea diving.

Muggins wasted more time than they’re prepared to admit trying to get a lobster off the coast of their town.

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A little less time was wasted going to Tortimer’s Island and deep ocean swimming there, even so it took forever to get a lobster – which move fast and tend to appear close to the border ropes, making them very difficult to catch when they do turn up.

By the time your humble narrator had acquired the above and headed back to Dalby…

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YOU UTTER GUCKING GASTARDS!

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You bet I’ll be gearing up for December, Franklin.

You will be pride of place at my Dalby Christmas Dinner – with all the trimmings.

Remember to bring the cranberries won’t you?

The Pastels

27 November, 2013

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A collection of nine T-shirts featuring various motifs from their artwork over the years.

Will fit Teen, Young Adult and Adults.

All items are recolourable, but the logos aren’t.

Please also find a collection of twelve poster pictures for your Sims 3 game.

The poster pictures use a mesh with many thanks by Yarona at Sims Modeli, so you do not need any stuff packs for this to work – it’s all base game friendly.

Finally, please find a piece of wall graffiti you can use in your game (if you want to place on an outside wall, press CTRL, Shift and C before typing MoveObjects on in the control panel)

Download

To use, download, unzip, and drop the contained folder into your The Sims 3\mods\packages folder and they should show up.

Enjoy!

The Pastels are regarded by some as Scotland’s Velvet Underground (without the drugs and egos), having influenced an eclectic number of artists in both music, art and the alternative press subculture worldwide for three decades without having sold many of their own records.

Like Half Man Half Biscuit, they make records or play gigs only when they feel like it, the reason for both their lack of commercial success but also their longevity.

They’re best known for their song ‘Nothing To Be Done‘ (sung by Stephen McRobbie and Aggi Wright) which achieved notoriety within the Kafkaesque Granton Star Cause section of the hit film The Acid House.

Their latest single, the dreamy autumnal ‘Kicking Leaves’ (sung by Katrina Mitchell) from their new album Slow Summits was released last week.

P.S. Sorry about the Download link being messed up – sorted now!

Please Shut Up About Family Guy

26 November, 2013

family guy is south park's bitch

One down, five to go.

Family Guy isn’t funny. Never was, never will be.

wait till your father gets home and the simpsons

Ever wondered where The Simpsons got their family on the couch ‘trademark’?

Like King Of The Hill and The Simpsons before it, it’s another copycat Wait Till Your Father Gets Home – Hanna Barbera’s animated sit-com of the 1970s cancelled after three seasons when one of the victims of its satire sued them and the show’s sponsors (and you thought gagging by writ by the rich and powerful was anything new?).

The difference is that The Simpsons is funny (to the extent Ronald Reagan tried to find a way to ban it because he thought it ‘subversive’ and ‘preaching un-American values’), using satire to comment on both comtemporary issues and timeless.

Testicles Chin simply graft tired old gags loosely onto tired old plots done a gazillion times better by others, throwing the odd piece of ‘controversial’ material more for the sake of headlines than making a point.

Even the puns in Animal Crossing New Leaf are ten times funnier than Testicles Chin ever will be.