Far Beyond The Black Horizon: Episode 3 – Entangled

Episode 3 – Entangled … or ‘You catch your breath as the Nooks present you with the bill!’

Drink the orange juice. Suppose it could be worse.

In childhood, you learn quick people encouraging you to nap straight after drinking something seldom have your best interest at heart.

This is what Santa Claus and presents are all about, conditioning at an early age that naptime is rewarding, rather than so your parents can get drunk at a Tapas bar in Portugal and leave you unsupervised, some surgeon can pull out your tonsils and appendix which they’re only half qualified to do.

Or some muthafunking raccoon’s can Mickey Finn you to some weed strewn piece of real estate with a pink rhino and the Mucus Koala.

Ah great, whatever the Nooks slipped into that orange juice is making me dream about Ed Sheeran. Piss off Ed Sheeran.

When I wake I’ll be in sync with real time? Told you I’d been drugged.

You just happened to be waiting outside the tent for me to come to?

Rat faced racoon bastard. You’ll get your cumuppance before all this is over.

So NookPhones are part of Vodafone? Useful to get that learned.

Wait? What? I get taken against my will and dumped in some hellhole with no means of escape, and you’re charging me 49,800 Bells for the privilege, you bellend?

Who do you think you are, Thomas Cook?

Did you think I wouldn’t twig the abbreviation is the same as Not My Problem?

So the bottom line is … this is a truck payment system where payment and the valuation of my actions is down to your whim and not related to the marketplace.

Knew this was a Disneyfied slave labour camp.

But as with all inductions and hostage situations, the best idea is to smile, be cooperative, and all the while, plan, plan, plan one’s escape.

I’ll get you, Tom Nook, if it’s the last thing I do!