The Guardian Newspaper Now Believes Britain Has Been Turned Into A Giant Vagina By Brexit (That’s What Happens When You Hire Anish Kapoor)

There could not be any more ludicrous to be said about Brexit – Tinfoil Theresa and Comrade Corbyn had surely milked that old cow dry?

Step forward the lunatic cult of The Guardian newspaper to add one extra piece of lunacy – a painting they’ve commissioned by the artist Anish Kapoor (piss take artist one assumes) which is meant to encapsulate the way the nation is being torn apart by the longest running farce in British political history.

What it looks more like is the nation being consumed by a massive vagina: the sort of idea you would find in dreadful cheap horror DVDs/Blurays from the video nasty era. Come to that, that old Simmer Jessamine Diane ought to sue it for stealing her idea of a vagina beast.

It also appears to envelope much of the motorway network – which seems appropriate as most Guardian readers prefer hybrid Vulvas!)

The question is which end has the clitoris? Both Dumfries and Woking would be the respective ends in the running. Being The Guardian, it would prefer it naturally to be the latter as they prefer the ‘woke’, and because Woking has a Habitat whereas Dumfries is probably lucky if it has a charity shop selling second hand furniture.

However there is another sort of politically correct argument in Woking’s favour. Since 1950 it has always returned Conservative Members of Parliament, usually with half the total vote cast. Therefore Woking has an organic affinity with Tori(e)s, increasing in size when given the correct economic stimulation and lubrication in its localities, but shrinking or even proving tender when rubbed up the wrong way.

However The Guardian‘s Brexit vagina, upon close inspection appears to show signs that a clitoridectomy has taken place. What is this, The Guardian newspaper – home of British political correctness and snowflakery – commissioning artwork promoting a form of female genital mutilation? Always said they weren’t to be trusted!

Anyone familiar with Anish Kapoor however would know this ‘artist’ has a one track mind.