A Nintendo Switch Tale For Christmas: ‘Who Are You Trying To Skykid?’

Meh! What’s this stupid game I’ve been given?

A thirty three year old arcade game the oldies remember, and they’ve putting it into a 2018 handheld gaming system with a bunch of other wrinklies games?

Pur-leeeeese!

Stupid game. Stupid controls. Everything in 2-D. What’s the point?

Yeah I know Limbo was in 2-D, but that was different! It is a classic atmospheric game which broke new boundaries in what can be done outside of the confines of the isometric gaming genre.

Okay okay, I’m giving it a proper chance and not giving up cause I’m no good at it cause I don’t like it.

There, look, see? Made it to sucky level three, and have found strategies to cope with being shot at from front, behind and the ground.

Yes, I know the loop the loop button is vital. It took me a couple of hours to realise this.

Yeah, I still say it sucks! It’s just I had to have something to do while waiting for Sims 3 to load up.

Then having to wait for the Sims 3 world to load up.

Then having to wait for Create-A-Sim to load up fully so I can use it.

Then having to wait for Accessories to load up fully so I can use it.

It is useful to me right now. It still means nothing to me. A distraction. A brief time killer.

I’M GOING TO BEAT THIS EFFING SKEET ARSETURNIP OF A GAME IF IT IS THE LAST THING I DAMN WELL DO!