Sweetrolls And Elder Scrolls – Part One

You know those mornings where soon as you wake up, a voice whisper into your subconscious that you’re better off staying in bed?

This is one of those.

Thanks, that’s cheered me up.

Suppose you could call Cold Harbour a bit of a fixer-upper.

Nothing some soft furnishings from Ikea and a bit of Feng Shui couldn’t fix.

Cadwall’s a great laugh. Go talk to him when you’re down there. Wish I could have taken him with me.

You’re thinking the person who designed Cold Harbour is the same artist who does the albums for Motorhead, aren’t you?

Here comes the brave heroine, barefoot and looking like they go to the same tailor as a Harry Potter house elf.

‘Doomed from the start’ doesn’t even begin to cover it.

But you have to admit it’s a beautiful place to be doomed within.

This is his happy face from being rescued.

That’s why you’ll always find him in the kitchen at parties.

Okay, now what?

Beat up some skinny kid?

Ulp!

Ur, best of three laps at Mario Kart and you can choose the track?

You not digging that?

What’s that? Merciless battle to the death involving pummeling me to a still twitching sticky texture instead?

After spending ten minutes running away and hiding behind the first object available before pulling myself together and one tremendous twatting of the Child of Bones later:

They do laundry different down Oblivion way.

This looks more promising.

Bye bye Cold Harbour, Oblivion. Hello Daggerfall, Tamriel.