Gnubb Club: Boolprop Fight The Addiction False vs Simpletons (Second Half)

11 October, 2011

Welcome back for the second half of the opening Gnubb Club League match between Boolprop Fight The Addiction False GC against Simpletons GC here at Taffer Park.

There was some technical difficulties starting the second half owing to an extended lunch break at a local nectary for some, and an extended visit to the nearest hospital for anyone that ate anything Cororon had made on the barbeque.

Just to remind you, here’s how the half time score looks:

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Boolprop FightTheAddiction False vs Simpletons

Katiecat 6 – 5 IssyBlue (Blueeyed32)

Wonton4Life 6 – 4 Michael Close (Whtrbt)

MmmToast 3-6 BethGreenB70

Matches: 2-1

Gnubb Difference: 15-15

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All to play for in the second half, now let’s see how they’ll line up!

‘A-one, two, a-one-two-three-four!’

What are you up to Orangeplumbob?

Cut it taffing out, you lot! This isn’t the Eisteddfod!

‘Ah shut up and let us see your jazz hands!’

Very funny Pollysim – encourage them, why don’t you!

‘I’ve got a far better song.’

What the plumbobs are you on about?

Erm, thank you for enlightening the readers! Can we get on with the match now?

The first match was not so much grab a granny as grab a granny muncher, with two former forum@jazz-hands members Catherine Tygercat12 and Pollysim facing one another, Pollysim starting confidently enough with two gnubb bunnies with her first go whilst Tygercat12 missed with both.

However, this was followed by a dreadful slump in form, combined with Tygercat12 finding her Gnubb arm, and two turns each later the score was now 3-2 in the Taffers favour.

‘Ah relex, this match’s in the bag if my game’s anything to go by!’

That confident?

‘Why shouldn’t I be? Here’s how it’s looking at Blackcat’s business end.’

Not a single Gnubb down.

‘But have your baby blues a feast at what’s going down at my business end of the park!’

Looks like Mirra Blackcat10106 has a lot of catching up to do if she’s to stay in the game.

‘Yeah, well it would help matters if I didn’t have to put up with Gramcrackers putting me off by standing within sight every time I went to take a shot either eating a hotdog in as disgusting a manner as possible or bouncing around on the trampoline behind Florida1Cowboy to distract me!’

Oooo, what a dirty trick!

‘Go and put some clothes on, dammit – before I stick you on the barbeque and shout to Tygercat12 “dinner is served!” – it’s bad enough having your boss wandering about in the bucky without you following suit, or rather almost birthday suit, and if you’re going back on that trampoline again tonight in the name of plumbob first get yourself a sports bra if you don’t want to end up giving yourself two black eyes!’

Um, too much information there!

‘Hee-hee-hee-hee! Dat’s ma Gramcrackers!’

Anything short of two Gnubb bunnies this time and she may as well forget it, so Blackcat10106 had better take careful aim with her next shots.

Which could also be said for the game between Tygercat12 and Pollysim, as it has rapidly descended into farce, both managing to hit everyone and everything else bar the gnubb bunnies.

You’re not helping either Whtrbt!

‘If I can’t silence those Boolproprietors singing with my Gnubb play, I’ll silence them with my streaking!’

The only matter likely to be silencing them is the shock of seeing you don’t appear to have any nipples.

‘Eh?’

Exactly!

‘Hee-hee-hee-hee! Dat’s ma Michael Close!’

Speaking of close, you might want to pay a bit more close attention how your own match is going!

‘What you blabbering on about?’

In case you haven’t noticed, Mirra has mirrored your score, getting three in her last two turns whilst you haven’t hit a sausage (save for that gnubb baton that went into the barbeque) – it’s three each!

‘Ulp! Better get the focus back!’

Blackcat10106 wasn’t the only Taffer getting her focus back, as Tygercat12 broke what had proved a long duck between the players in her match and took her game to 4-2.

Fast forward two turns later, and up we come to the fourth game point – with Florida1Cowboy stepping up to take it.

He tosses…

… and the game is his!

Six Gnubbs to three, tying the match but making for a Gnubb difference of 21 to 18 in Simpletons favour.

However their joy’s short lived as Tygercat12 had managed to hit her final Gnubb bunny, and with Pollysim yet again unable to find the target, it’s now the Taffers turn to perhaps take back the initiative.

Her first shot gave the Gnubb king a glancing blow, but it only wobbled.

Her second shot…

… clipped the king enough to spend it spinning to the ground.

Thus in a real surprise Tygercat12 wins her game by six Gnubbs to two, putting the Taffers back into the lead three games to two and making for a Gnubb difference of 23 to 22 in Boolprop Fight The Addiction False’s favour.

This means that Boolprop are guaranteed at least a draw so long as they don’t lose their final game by more than one Gnubb. It all hangs on how Graycurse can do against Cororon in their delayed match.

It was to have been Cororon against Orangeplumbob, but she kept running off home before the game ever managed to start, so in the end Graycurse left her place in the crowd cheering to enter the lists.

Cororon made no mistake with her first two shots, leaving Graycurse in no doubt as to the task ahead of her.

How did the final game of the match go?

It could not have gone more wrong for Graycurse if she’d tried, while Cororon was in no mood to show mercy after being messed for so long around all night, convinced that the Taffers were trying to take advantage of her being scared of the dark in the hope it would affect her game.

Simpletons needed Cororon to pull a rabbit out of the hat – she pulled out Watership Down, and Tygercat12’s celebrations were cut short as a groan went up from the Boolprop team and supporters watching the centre game as Cororon made up for lost time by putting herself on course for a six baton finish.

‘Boo! Complete fluke result!’

Fluke result? By the stage of the final game….

…the result…

…was never in doubt.

If this was one of Graycurse’s Simming stories, we think she’d would need to classify this one as horror, being the first unfortunate Gnubber to be on the receiving end of a grannying.

Would it have been different it Orangeplumbob had stayed? It took Cororon exactly six throws to take her match, easily the fastest game of the whole match. Graycurse’s best was a couple of wobbles – and she had taken the first throw of their game.

Perhaps she ought to have tried out for the Palmer Appreciation Society’s Gnubb Club instead, since they’re fond of ducks!

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FINAL SCORE

Katiecat 6 – 5 IssyBlue (Blueeyed32)

Wonton4Life 6 – 4 Michael Close (Whtrbt)

MmmToast 3-6 BethGreenB70

Mirra Blackcat10106 3-6 Florida1Cowboy

Tygercat12 6 -2 Pollysim

Graycurse 0 – 6 Cororon

Matches: 3-3

Gnubb Difference: 24-29

Boolprop Fight The Addiction False 3 -3 Simpletons

(Simpletons Win On Gnubb Difference!)

‘We lost our home match Toast! What do we do now?’

‘Tomorrow Leon, we practice. Tonight, we damn well have Graycurse tarred and feathered!’

Eeek!

Looks like Cororon’s getting the attention of the press after her demolition job.

‘Well of course, I’m simply happy for the lads and for the fans, delighted to be playing, two points on the board away from home is always a bonus, here’s hoping we can build on that and maybe get some silverware in the cabinet at the end of the season – any more sports cliches you’d like, you paparazzi rumpaklimp?!’

‘Miss Cororon, what about the allegations of you taking banned substances?’

‘As has already been determined by the International Directorate of Gnubb Associations Federation – the IDGAF – neither smoked vampires or slimy towels are in anyway outlawed!’