Gnubb Club: Boolprop Fight The Addiction False vs Simpletons (First Half)

4 October, 2011

Welcome to the first match of the Gnubb Club League here at Taffer Park, with Boolprop Fight The Addiction False GC taking on Simpletons GC.

This works on a different format to that previously tried. Each team plays one another six times, one player on one. Squads must hold a minimum of six players, each playing once.

Whoever wins the most games wins the match and 3 points.

In the event of a tie, Gnubb difference counts, but will only earn the successful Gnubb Club 2 points.

If it is still a tie, each GC wins a point apiece.

The Boolprop Fight The Addiction False Gnubb Club will take six players from the following pool: Callie ImmatureStrikes, Greycurse, Katiecat, Mirra Blackcat10106, MmmToast (team captain), Orangeplumbob, Sarriaka, Scarlet Simphony, Tygercat12 and Wonton4Life.

From the visitors Simpletons comes a squad consisting of: Beth (GreenB70), Blueeyed32, Cororon, Florida1Cowboy, Pollysim, Shay (Gramcrackers), Whtrbt and Zeri (captain).

‘Come on, lame brains – and for plumbob’s sake this time don’t screw up!’

Nothing like an inspiring team talk, eh?

‘Hey Orangeplumbob.’

‘Yes Mirra?’

‘Do you think these trousers clash with this top?’

‘No, Mirra – they clash with everything!’

Ooo, saucer of cream for madame!

It was the Simpletonians that lined up to take the first throws of the match.

Unfortunately Whtrbt found himself to be a bit overexcited with his tossing – as so often tends to be the way of such matters with men.

If the Sims world newspapers ever consider running Spot The Gnubb Baton competitions, he’ll be providing many of the pictures.

‘I don’t know what’s more embarrassing – both Whtrbt and I sending our batons into the stratosphere or Zeri changing into her underwear every five minutes for no discernable reason like she’s joined the cast of Hollyoaks! ‘

It certainly didn’t look good for Simpletons after the first round, with only BethGreenB70 bagging a single bunny.

Now it was the turn of the Taffers.

Katiecat and Wonton4Life made no mistake as they bagged themselves a brace of bunnies.

‘No need to sound so surprised – Katie and Leon can gnubb it to the max!’

Oi! Stop breaking the fourth wall!

‘Cororon, did Zeri make those ferry tickets any day returns, because at this rate we might be heading for home before lunch!’

‘Have a little faith – our guys are only warming up! But I’ll check with Zeri just in case, hey wait a minute, where is Zeri?’

Sneaked back into the Away team dressing rooms with Gramcrackers so they can read some skanky novel.

‘Shhhh! It’s the latest tome by Smugface McGee, The Ring Of The Edge .’

Oh la-di-da, it’s not a novel but a tome! So what does this tome entail, Gramcrackers?

‘It explores the concepts of social alienation during the economic upheavals of the 1980s against the backdrop of the excitement towards the IT revolution?’

‘Does it? I thought it was all about some dude taking a dump on his boss’s desk in the middle of a meeting with the CEO before shagging the boss’s daughter live on the Public Access network.’

‘Um, yeah, that as well!’

***AHEM!*** If you two can tear yourselves away from your Pulitzer Prize winner for a moment, your colleagues are in need of your moral support right now!

The Boolpropians were on a roll, with Katiecat putting herself up for two shots at the Gnubb King on her next turn.

Wonton4Life however was teeing up for the first attempt at the Gnubb King of the match in his game.

Which is perhaps an unfortunate time for anyone to suffer an attack of the hiccups!

Two throws, one up on the roof…

… another in one of the barbeques.

Which meant Whtrbt had the chance to put himself right back into the game.

‘Oooo, I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that entire supermarket own brand six-pack of apple pies!’

Serves you right, Mr Scoff Monster! All that apple and sugar in one sitting. No wonder you’ve got hiccups.

‘What do you mean apple? What bloody apple! I ate all six trying to find any of the apple the photo on the box said there was in them, and got these hiccups from the oxygen filling I’ve swallowed!’

So true – the only way you’ll get to eat any apple is if you eat the box!

‘Don’t worry Leon, I’ll show you how it’s done. Keeping a firm grip of the shaft, I…’

Hey Taffer, keep it clean! This is a family show you know!

‘Pardon?’

Just take the taffing shot!

So Katiecat squinted an eye and with the rest of the Boolprop squad and fans cheering, took careful aim.

She didn’t need a second throw – but look how close Blueeyed32 had come to catching her.

‘Dammit, but maybe Whtrbt will get lucky?’

Then again, maybe not!

Much to the delight of Greycurse and Scarlet Simphony.

♪ ‘A Taffer Till I Die! ♫ A Taffer Till I Die!’ ♪

♪ ‘I Know I Am! ♫ I’m Sure I Am!’ ♫

♫ ‘A Taffer Till I Die!’ ♪

Easy Tigers, the match isn’t over yet!

‘Ha! Easy is how this is gonna be – two to the good already. These Simple suckers are going to get grannied!’

Oh it’s you Tygercat12. Kind of ironic you should be mentioning grannies, considering you used to be a…

‘Shaddup!’

Er, Zeri, what the blazes…

‘I’m putting Wonton4Life off his shot by zooming by him at superspeed!’

Brilliant idea. At least it would have been if he hadn’t already taken his shot.

‘Nggggh! Funking bar stewards!’

Er, let’s move swiftly over to the Taffers team captain!

Toast, you’re now two games up, the match appears to be going well, how are your own chances in your game going down?

That good, eh?

‘We’re going to get grannied? Dream on, Taffers!’

Yes, your eyes aren’t deceiving you!

There’s all of BethGreenB70’s gnubb bunnies gone to ground.

There’s BethGreenB70 teeing up her first shot at the Gnubb King.

And there’s Zeri in her underwear again – for plumbob’s sake woman, before you catch your death!

(Memo To GCL HQ: ‘Don’t put watersliders in Gnubb Club parks – Simmies are as obsessed with them as they appear to be with playing with water sprinklers!’)

Quick Beth, take your shot and find where your team captain’s dumped her gear!