Hermione Granger Was One Of The Biggest Cunts In The Entire Potterworld

The less than graceful reaction to the latest general election result, this year’s European election results and the Brexit vote several years back brought into sharp focus the arrival of Millenials and a Generation Z intolerant of concepts for a caring and compassionate society which different to their own.

There are many reasons advanced, but one must be the deification of a certain character from J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter to the point of absurd.

Step forward Hermione Granger. The role model for an entire generation brought up to believe only their viewpoint and life experiences matter.

During the making of the Harry Potter films, Rowling’s increased her meddling with the scripts to extend Emma Watson’s role, as the Potter series became more about Rowling reliving and rewriting her childhood into one where she was popular and influential rather than an unpopular jerkoff. Was it more than coincidence an increasing part of the public began to go off Hermione in turn?

After Snape called Granger ‘an insufferable know it all’ in Prisoner of Askaban, in the film version Ron said ‘He’s got a point there’ – one of the many small examples in which Rowling morphed the story into being the Trials Of Saint Hermione The Muggle Born, surrounded with idiots unable to comprehend her awesomeness.

Admit it, how many of you in The Deathly Hallows Part One, when Emma Watson gushed, ‘Actually I’m highly logical which allows me to look past extraneous detail and perceive clearly that which others overlook,’ found yourselves immediately shouting ‘WANKER!’

Yet you always made sure Luna came off worse.

Granger as faux feminist icon

Much feminist points have been raised about Hermione’s ‘bossiness’ being sexist objections to a ‘strong female character’. Yet Professor Minerva McGonagall – a Miss Hardbroom clone albeit without a vindictive streak – was a fan favourite. Moreover, Granger’s treatment of the good natured Luna Lovegood was a particular source of fan irritation.

Then there’s her put down of ‘… that complete cow Pansy Parkinson? How she got to be a prefect when she’s thicker than a concussed troll.’

So much for sisterhood!

Yeah, the same Parkinson who showed the presence of mind during the chaos of the Room of Requirement breakout in Order Of The Phoenix to nip inside for evidence and grab the incriminating list of D.A. members. The same Parkinson who in the films was mysteriously replaced without explanation – rumour had it because Watson (and by extention Rowling) were not happy with the large amount of fanmail Genevieve Gaunt was receiving despite her minor role.

Parkinson was based by Rowling’s own admission on every girl who was Rowling’s enemy at school. One may surmise this may have been down to being cleverer as much as her claims of having been bullied. It would certainly explain the continual degredation of the Parkinson role in the movies along with the elevation of Granger’s.

The love of Granger’s life was herself

If there was one sign in particular of Hermione Granger’s cuntitude, it was the way she treated the supposed love of her life, Ronald Weasley.

Hermione never loved Ron. He appealed to her vanity, being dependent on her to finish his homework and having won him round from thinking she was ‘a nightmare’. She was happy to cheat so he would retain being the Gryffindor Quidditch keeper, but threw a tantrum over Harry doing the same (or so she thought).

Her attitude towards Ron was frequently bossy, condescending and she never gave him a single compliment – unlike with Harry. Despite getting them through the chess puzzle in their first series of adventures at the near cost of his life, her faith in his abilities markedly decreased over the series.

When Ron became Lavender’s boyfriend, she treated the matter more like Crookshanks leaving her for a new owner. She physically attacked him with canaries, and made a point of taking to Slughorn’s Christmas party the one person Ron felt insecure about (much to her cost).

How many times did Hermione hit someone who is meant to be her friend? Didn’t her parents ever tell her you don’t hit your friends?

Her behaviour in The Half Blood Prince was probably the moment she showed her true colours, despising Harry’s potions book because suddenly he had an advantage she didn’t which made him better than her.

Even when he’d tried to share the knowledge with her she was having none of it and wanted the book destroyed.

‘– got a reputation for Potions brilliance you don’t deserve,’ said Hermione nastily.

This is also the same Hermione – whose own ‘brilliance’ only came so long as it came out of a book – suddenly getting all sniffy about Harry having ‘got a reputation for Potions brilliance you don’t deserve.’ thanks to – uh! – reading a book.

It’s little surprise it was the one time Ginny rounded on her.

‘Give it a rest, Hermione!’ said Ginny, and Harry was so amazed, so grateful, he looked up. ‘By the sound of it Malfoy was trying to use an Unforgivable Curse, you should be glad Harry had something good up his sleeve!’

‘Well, of course I’m glad Harry wasn’t cursed!’ said Hermione, clearly stung, ‘but you can’t call that Sectumsempra spell good, Ginny, look where it’s landed him! And I’d have thought, seeing what this has done to your chances in the match –’

‘Oh, don’t start acting as though you understand Quidditch,’ snapped Ginny, ‘you’ll only embarrass yourself.’

No surprise this was another moment Rowling decided to cut out from the film!

What was particularly noteworthy about this point was later we were to discover Ginny had been getting ‘coached’ by Hermione regarding her unrequited love for Harry for some years – again a sign of her enormous ego and control freakery that she was trying to micromanage the futures of her friends so they met with her grand plans.

How neat and orderly, that her orphan best friend should one day marry the sister of her future husband, keeping everyone neatly within one close knit family rather than several which may not regard her with the same awe.

For anyone else about to defend Hermione, just remember that Harry got an Exceeds Expectations in his Potions, so he wasn’t thick. That he had the common sense to try out the annotations Snape had added to the text (something any university student would know is standard behaviour) shows that whilst Hermione was academically brilliant, Harry was cleverer than her in reality.

Snape once testily pointed out that Hermione’s answer regarding the advantage of non-verbal spells over verbal was regurgiated (“An answer copied almost word for word from The Standard Book of Spells, Grade Six, but correct in essentials.”) This wasn’t merely a case of Snape being nasty for nasty’s sake – it was coming back to what Harry had warned when he ran Defence Against The Dark Arts classes himself about it being not merely learning spells but being able to think fast and fight by the seat of your pants, the difference between theoretical knowledge and applied; and that rarely crosses over well if you can’t articulate knowledge using your own words rather than someone else’s.

This wasn’t the first time Harry have something putting him at an advantage and she wanted it taken off him. Remember the broom Sirius sent Harry, which saw Hermione tell McGonigall? Broom riding is something Hermione struggled with from the start. Remember the Marauders Map allowing Harry to wander the castle as he liked and break rules and Harry called her out on thinking about telling tales on him again?

It’s no wonder Ginny eventually calls her out on her crap – she’s witnessed five years of Hermione’s bullshit to Harry and her brother.

Finally there’s her Society For Promoting Elvish Welfare – S.P.E.W. – where she goes so far as to set sock traps in the Gryffindor common room in order to free the Hogwarts elves, regardless of whether they wish to be freed or not. Which they don’t, resulting in Dobby having to look after the Gryffindor common room single handed. Considering the state of the drunken Winky hiding in the Hogwarts kitchens, is it any wonder the Hogwarts elves regard Granger as not being interested in their welfare?

They’d be right too, this is an ego-trip marianated in the sauce of Granger’s own self-righteous indignation that other creatures may have a view of life and how to live it different to her own. The question is never asked (least of all by Granger) that elves may see themselves as duty bound to serve wizards in order to save them from themselves (and perhaps the rest of the non-wizarding magical community with it?), that what elves are doing is for their own sense of what constitutes ‘the greater good.’

After all, would creatures able to naturally disapparate and perform magic with the click of their fingers rather than clumsy wands and books really consider wizards and witches to be their ‘masters’ – or is this all part of an elvish culture of deceiving those who need to be deceived for their own sakes?

So why are some so forgiving of Hermione in turn? Why does the ‘strong woman’ crap get an airing?

The truth is Hermione embodies the spirit of a generation brought up on Spice Girls ‘attitude’ and the Richard Dawkins superiority complex that you have a ‘right’ to be an arsehole to those you are ‘better’ than, particularly if it’s to your advantage to do so by scoring points and putting ‘lessers’ in their place.

Hermione is frighteningly similar to Draco Malfoy – if not Voldemort – in her elitist mindset: and if anyone doubts this, remember the cursed DA coins (again cut out from the movies).

She was simply one of those utter cunts in the Potterworld fortunate – unlike Dolores Umbridge – to pick the winning side.