Turning Over A New Leaf: Episode 22 – Coco’s Birthday And Bum Trees

The season has turned to spring, and the start of a new month has been marked with a birthday.

I was shocked at how empty Coco’s house looked compared to when she first moved in.

Take away the birthday cake and the birthday sign, and the place looks so threadbare in comparison to the way it was when I first visited her home upon moving in on New Year’s Eve.

Has she been forced into selling her prized goods to pay off those Nooks? Or has poor Coco become a helpless smackhead selling off all she owns to pay for crack sherbet or whatever passes for narcotics around these parts?

As Mayor of Dalby, it will be my duty to investigate.

Everyone else in Dalby is acting as normally bizarre as ever.

If this is some sort of code for something disgusting, I’d rather not know Blathers. Never trust anyone with a green bowtie and a sweater vest.

There’s simply no answer to this!

Last year was spent trying to make as much money as possible for improvements, only for someone to move over the spot I wanted to build on and having to wait for them to move out.

Gambling on turnip futures has been good, but nail biting some weeks, having to wait until Saturday before being offered more than you paid for. If you have bought lots of turnips because the price was low, stacking them up in the museum rooms, you risk a big financial black hole you’ll have to fish up the following weeks to make up.

Phew! There is however a far safer way to make a fortune in Animal Crossing: New Leaf.

♪ The king of Spain’s daughter came to see me, all for the sake of my little bum tree ♫

Those are supposed to be peaches growing, but they look more like bum cheeks to me.

Growing peaches has proven to be my most profitable crop along with apples, cherries and perfect oranges. Timed with a double deal at Re-Tail, they can net me 50 000 bells apiece. A full harvest of all the fruits in Dalby – apples, bananas, coconuts, cherries, durians, lemons, lychees, mangos, oranges and perfect oranges nets quarter of a million bells.

Oranges are native, so they’re only 100 bells each. Tropical fruit from the island or grown on the beaches of Dalby is worth 250. Perfect oranges however are worth 600 bells. Foreign fruit is worth 500 – which is why apple trees, bum trees and cherry trees predominate Dalby.

You have to love Fauna…

She tells you have been playing for too long, but the seccy you reenter your home to go to bed, she makes an unannounced visit and you’re having to play another ten minutes before she leaves!

One of those rare magical moments when the villagers aren’t screwing me over. Usually it’s ‘how about your gold ore for my kekky t-shirt, seeing as we all think you were born yesterday on the boat coming from Stupidland?‘

Yes, piglets are so lovely. Especially as rashers with a dollop of Heinz tomato ketchup in a wholemeal sandwich.

I would rather not hear about your mother’s crabs.

One problem about swimming in the Sea of Dalby is whenever I catch a scallop, this happens…

Pascal is this weird stoner type sea otter who sounds like he listens to the Velvet Underground. Anyone who says ‘Maaaaan’ is probably smoking the seaweed and seeing pink elephants.

I suppose you’d be a little annoyed if people kept knocking your house down and selling it to Lambchop Face for bells, Pascal.

He is probably the one who writes the messages in the fortune cookies.

But I’m wondering whether there is something in the Sea of Dalby to make them all trippy. Look at Gulliver’s insane ramblings.

You’re certainly not in the overhere, Gulliver.