Turning Over A New Leaf: Episode 11 – ‘Dateline ACNL’

More rain.

Best part of rain: what bugs there are to catch on the trees aren’t very alert.

If what Sylvia’s saying is true, why does Paddington Bear always wear raingear?

(Other than he’s probably one of those rubber perverts. There’s a lot of it about in Darkest Peru, you know. They must have a lot of English style Public Schools).

Sylvia asked me to deliver a parcel to Bones.

Red warm-up suits smell of creamed corn. Today’s factoid brought to you by Bones.

You also get some odd fish in the rain. Or maybe this one simply got lost.

Camofrog got stung for a painting I knew was going to be a Sexton Blake before I’d even offered to take it off his hands – confirmed by Blathers. Will have to look out for this fox character.

No sooner paid off one house loan, Tom Nook has suckered me into another. When will I learn?

Curse you nefarious raccoon and your tempting space extensions.

Lucky I’ve got a regular harvest and catch routine to get the money in.

Which as I suspected was the Nooks and Lambchop face’s plan all along.

One day…

I hope you get that smirk wiped off your face with your Turnip values in the week’s Stalk Market.

Come to think of it, maybe that’s what happened to everyone here. They all lost a fortune and have conned me into rebuilding their lost wealth: just like the banks and governments do when they lose all their money and expect everyone else to pay for it.

Ugh! I need to be less paranoid.

I’ll bet you’re happiest when you’re walking about town and happen upon a flower starting to bloom. You’re probably thinking ‘KA-CHING!’ Is everyone in Dalby a bourgeoise capitalist oppressor of the masses?

The new shop turned out to be a limited gardening shop, selling two flowers, one tree and one different tool per day. The flowers will come in handy, and the tools, but he can keep the trees. That’s what harvesting the oranges are for.

I gave Maelle help with a new greeting. Yes, predictably corny, but whatever. Dalby runs on puns.

Notice sarcastic face with Kevin. Whatever the answer, he gets annoyed. The correct answer is of course ‘depends whether there’s any bees behind me!’

I water all the flowers in Dalby once a day. No point relying on the villagers. Many of them do water, but it doesn’t appear to be with any pattern to it, and I want this place blooming.

Memo to myself: everyone’s house at the front and sides to get flowers. Three each side, in a two colour pattern. Create a large bunch of identical types of flowers so they multiply fast, and transfer to homes once enough are ready so that it will still leave plenty behind to multiply elsewhere.

Em, a dildo bush?

When Cookie finally realises what I said, I hope it doesn’t affect my citizen satisfaction rating.

Of course, if she’s asking questions like this she’s probably going to be too stoned to remember what she asked anyway, never mind what I replied.

Maybe the Nooks are touting cough medicine to the villagers under the counter. Would explain a lot.

Although the rain stopped later, there were still more gyroids to dig up. I’m becoming slightly obsessed with them, and determined to get a set.

Sounds legit.

It comes with experience.

Anyone with a double chin, pebble glasses and a scoutmaster’s uniform in this day and age is suspect. Or a cosplayer, and you’re a bit old for that.

Allow me to kick your gonads.

Oh. He did have badges to give. A fish badge. Colour me guilty.

But if he asks me next if I like fishsticks, that shovel is going to come in handy.

Kevin is still being plagued with fleas. He’s stealing my bacon jokes as well, the swine.

(Sorry!)

Blathers, seriously, get help.

Or get yourself some new material.

Is there anyone around here going to be normal today?

This makes the day all worth it.

Hippeux has got such class. Look at his home – it’s beautiful! From the wallpaper and carpet right down to all the belongings he has – jealous doesn’t begin to describe it.

Having him as my next door neighbour doesn’t seem so bad after all. Now I just have to hope the other villagers don’t send him screaming for the first train out.