Turning Over A New Leaf: Episode 9 – ‘The Happy Home Academy (Home Of Fadeless Splendour)’

A new day, same Dr Freud casebook from Blathers.

I was sorely tempted to tell Maelle to change her catchphrase to ‘Fuckface’. She’d be murdered by the rest of the villagers before the following nightfall for sure.

Damn my soft heart I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not this time.

A lot of the Dalby villagers wanted their catchphrases changed. Someone must have been telling them all theirs were lame, and I wouldn’t be surprised if a certain frogspawn breath was behind it.

I’m keeping Fauna on the deer puns for now.

Villagers sometimes get hyper over something you have caught and plead with you to swap it or buy it. No matter what the value, I always do so.

I never say no, I never play hardball with the price. Any loss on the transaction is made up by making them happy – what you are there to do as mayor.

I’d never make a politician – I’m too nice.

Dalby Post Office is not an Equal Opportunities Employer (pelicans only it seems), but Phyllis does her best to disguist this by acting like a total cow.

Very surprised at Bones – all the other villagers houses appear the same size inside. It could be his home has more space taking up junk in it.

More rain today, so maybe I can get some more gyroids and some good fish? Sylvia’s enjoying it at any rate.

I have acknowledged for the first time that Sylvia is a purple kangaroo. If this is the sort of villagers I can expect, no wonder Blathers is nutty as walnut cake – it would be enough to send anyone mad. What next, a yellow hippo?

No, a gypsy hog.

A Stalk Market, in which everyone invests in Turnip Futures, selling onto Reece who dictates the daily price. It almost makes Ginko Financial look legit.

Another piece fits into the jigsaw puzzle in how the Nooklings and the Lambchops have this village totally under their control by swindling them out of their hard earned Bells.

That weird fella standing at the end of the commercial district…

So this is the brother Isabelle has talked about?

I want the last five minutes of my life back.

What the Bells is this Happy Home Academy anyway?

I know one thieving raccoon that ought to be able to explain.

Lyle looks mental. The sort that collects fast food plastic containers as a hobby.

I want my mummy.

Have I ever stepped into Tom Nook’s office once without somehow ending up out of pocket to the little skeet?

Pocket change alright – all my change ends up in his bloody pocket! Urgh!