The Lonely Island Chronicles: Episode 9 – ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’ (Part 3)

Lonely Island was created and owned by Rflong7/13, but was taken over by some undead Simmies for a bit of peace and quiet after involuntary resurrection from Ivy Hill Graveyard. It includes some others escaping from their own ‘life issues’, and is a sanctuary for the much maligned Butterfly of Doom and many other misunderstood species of Sims nature.

Evening has fallen, the swans are singing, the last of Sunday’s bells is ringing. The wind in the trees is sighing.

And from the Wotchyamacaulit, the Lonely Islanders are flying. Another meeting over.

‘Tooooo the Crystal Dome! Or at least to the Jazz-Hands Gnubb Club. I’ve got a high score that needs beating!’

However, at the gate to the Gnubb field:

‘Hold on, have I given you permission to enter here, Elysia? What’s it worth to you for me to allow you in?’

‘Here’s what it’s worth – I’ll let you continue to live, you saucy little git! You’ve ten seconds to move away from that gate, starting eight seconds ago.’

‘Whitsun Winterbottom, cease blocking the gate if you don’t wish to find yourself barred from using the community facility for a week!’

‘He’s my son, M’boza, I can handle this – Whitsun, stop that at once or you’ll be going back to the child psychologist.’

‘Oi! Witless! Move your buttwings right now before I dominate you with my crabbiness – and knock it off with always trying to haze Elysia and the Tynehams.’

‘Whitsun, why do you always have to give our family a showing up? I told you Dad that he’d have another of his Asperger’s episodes if he wasn’t made to Feng Shui his room propertly this morning.’

‘Shrove dear, please, let me handle this.’

‘But it’s true Dad. Everyone else on the island manages to get on amicably enough with the zomb…. er I mean livormorts…’

‘Pfft! You and the rest of your hippyderp family wishes, Pancake!’

‘Daaaaaad! That Switch brat called me Pancake again!’

‘Come on Cloverstardropper, hurry up! I’m sure M’boza is as anxious to start thrashing Diggory at Gnubb tonight as I am to clobber you.’

‘Alright, alright, but don’t kid yourself that you’re going to beat me. Odds one that M’boza and I will be the only ones toppling the kings tonight.

No idea why Switch is impersonating Kenneth Williams with that face she’s pulling.

‘I hear ya! Diggory, you going down man, you – are -going – doooooooooown!‘

Remarkable the way Gnubb makes even M’boza Idchai lose his mature diplomatic cool.

‘I hate to remind you, Ms Stardropper, but I did beat Mr Idchai in our last match. At least I dare to test my strength again stronger opponents from time to time – you only play Ms Farber because you know you’ll always win.’

‘Bweheh! You only beat M’boza last time because he stepped in to finish Haily’s game for her after she fell sick after one undercooked tofu hotdog by Pancake too many. Five-nil the score was at the time – and it took you six shots before you hit the king by which time he’d brought it back to 5-4!’

‘Oh really? Hrrrumph! §100 says that I beat Switch in this very match and that you Diggory get served again by M’boza. Going to put your simoleons where your big fat mouths are?’

‘Oh, you’re on kid! You are so on!’

‘This is glorious! Count me in too. Can’t turn down free money!’

‘Perhaps Mr Winterbottom and Ms Daemone would not have been so rash, indeed so foolhardy as to consent to the wager, had they known that Miss Farber has received some tuition in the fine art of Gnubb this very afternoon.’

‘Modesty naturally forbids me mentioning from whom, but I am confident that Haily has achieved enough progression in her tutelage this very afternoon to put Cloverstardropper’s wyrd less the foregone conclusion she believes it so.’

For those unfamiliar, Willow Tyneham is the best Gnubb player on Lonely Island by several furlongs.

After Diggory was beaten 6-3, all eyes turned to the Haily vs Switch match. Five all, with Haily throwing for the king with her last baton.

Ever get that feeling…

… you really should not have made that bet?

‘I think I’m getting the hang of this now. Can I have my §100 from you both please?’

‘Tonight, the drinks are on Haily – and the eggs are on Diggory and Switch’s faces! Better see what my good lady wife’s getting up to downstairs.’

Looks like she’s conversing with one of the island’s tourists.

‘Someone has to butter up the visitors, our Chargés d’Affaires Ad Nauseum is too busy trying to top her score in Pacman.’

This is not the face of someone that is completely addicted to a pile of 8-bit retro. Oh no.

Look on the bright side, Klammis, at least they’ve found a way they can have Whitsun Winterbottom in the same room as any of the resident undead without them coming to blows.

‘Which is for the best, otherwise he’d be facing more of the music than merely my arpeggios!’

‘Look everyone, our first change of weather!’

‘Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!’

Snowing it certainly is – coming in heavy by the look of it.

The weather stone’s eyes have turned a wintry shade of blue, you’ll notice!

‘So they have a stone that controls the weather? Maaaaaarey interesting!’

Oh horse off, you nag, before you end up being made into Tesco sausages!

It certainly makes the game look very picturesque

But what effect is it going to have on playing Gnubb?

‘Gnubb in the snow? Oh-ho-ho, It’s going to be great!’

‘Not if you’re wearing short sleeves and short trousers it’s not!’

‘Pfft! Man up Diggory, you big girly wuzz! You’ve enough middle age spread there to keep you toasty-mosty.’

‘Why you impudent little…’

‘Guys, I think that there’s a more pragmatic reason why this isn’t going to work…’

‘Haily, what do you mean… oh trollbat, I get it!’

‘Once enough snow is down and it starts to crystalise solid, we’ll freeze to death before we manage to hit down the king!’

‘What are we going to do?’

‘Impromptu igloo building until it thaws a bit!’

‘Is this what Amish Eskimos do instead of barn building?’

‘I’ll leave you kids to it, I prefer my ice inside a glass with plenty of nectar I’m heading downstairs for a winter warmer!’

‘Wimp!’

‘Hey Haily and Switch, we’ve got a better idea!’

Country dancing? Ballet?

‘Yeah, a real cool one!’

‘Ooof! Prithee, don’t they come in warmer varieties?’

There’s only one game to play when the snow’s this deep.

At least until everyone’s too frozen to make another snowball!

Lonely Island’s now a winter wonderland!