The Lonely Island Chronicles: Episode 7 – The Real Reason Girl Gamers Play Skyrim

25 May, 2012

Lonely Island was created and owned by Rflong7/13, but was taken over by some undead Simmies for a bit of peace and quiet after involuntary resurrection from Ivy Hill Graveyard. It includes some others escaping from their own ‘life issues’, and is a sanctuary for the much maligned Butterfly of Doom and many other misunderstood species of Sims nature.

Just another night at Tyneham Castle...

‘Ah, I have expected you. Prodah. You would not come all this way for tinvaak with an old Dovah.’

‘Mmmm, you prodah and tinvaak me as much as you like, big boy!’

‘You have indulged my weakness for speech long enough. Krosis.’

‘Mmmm, you indulge your weaknesses on me as much as you like – rrrroooowwl!’

‘This is what I love about him. It isn’t all about non-stop thu’um, he really wants to communicate.’

‘Yeah, I bet he’d like going shopping for shoes and walks in the summer rain as well.’

‘I have overcome my nature only through meditation and long study of the Way of the Voice.’

‘***Sigh!*** I could meditate on the way of your voice all day long, dreamboat!’

‘Hear my thu’um. Feel it in your bones.’

‘Oh yes, YES! Thu’um me good and strong! You know you want to!’

‘Aaaah yes! Sossedov los mul. The dragonblood runs strong in you.’

‘***Mimblewimble!*** Oh you raunchy beast! Cover me in your hot steamy Dovah Sos!’

‘The Blades were right not to trust us, we were made to dominate. The will to power is in our blood. You feel it in yourself, do you not?’

‘Grrrrrooooowl, you’re so hot when you get all masterful! Dominate me all you like!’

‘See that’s why the Greybeards don’t want anyone else getting to meet him. They’re the jealous-possessive type. I bet they want to know everyone he texts with on his Twitter.’

‘Yeah Willow, and that Delphine, she’s the dumped girlfriend-that-can’t-accept-it’s-over type. That’s why she’s got it in for him.’

‘Yeah, totally, Hazel. What a bitch.’

‘Psycho-bitch I reckon. Just ‘cos, like, she’s got the hottest ass in Skyrim, thinks she owns the place – and I bet it’s just padding in that Blades armour anyway.‘

‘Yeah. If I ever saw her, I’d tell her straight, like, “face it girl, he’s just not that into you, so go suck it up bitch!” ’

‘Yeah, totally Rowan!’

‘Do you think something might unlock if I went back up to him wearing dragonscale armour? You know, the dovah in me reaching out to the dovah in him?’

‘Mmmm, I think he’s more a leathers outfit sort of guy.’

Outside Tyneham Castle a few hours later…

‘Not again! They said they’d be ready and to meet them here at ten.’

‘Nnnngggggh! I bet they’re still playing Skyrim from last night when we left them, redoing the Throat Of The World parts again!’

‘How many times is that now they’ve said they’ve had to redo that bit because it didn’t work out right for them? Surely between the three of them they ought to have got that part right and moved on?’

‘They just haven’t been themselves of late. Dare I say they’ve been sounding a little, pfft, how can I put it?…’

‘Chick-Lit-ish?’

‘Yeah, that word you said, Haily!’

‘We’re supposed to have been playing Gnubb two hours ago! Two hours waiting for them to get ready! Who’s for breaking down the door, going down to the basement and shoving those Exo Edge joy pads up their jacksies?’

‘Seconded – with the one that’s left getting the console!’

‘Make that thirded – and forget lubbing them up beforehand! Gordon Bennett, it’s a beautiful day, too hot for computer games!’

‘Never mind one that’s been out for six months! Switchy thought Switchy was obsessed with dragons, but they’re taking it to a whole new sphere of derpyderpdom.’

‘What do they still see in that bit of the game after all this time?’

The reason?