The Lonely Island Chronicles: Episode 3 – ‘Ooh Blimey!’ (Part 1)

9 February, 2012

Lonely Island was created and owned by Rflong7/13, but was taken over by some undead Simmies for a bit of peace and quiet after involuntary resurrection from Ivy Hill Graveyard. It includes some others escaping from their own ‘life issues’, and is a sanctuary for the much maligned Butterfly of Doom and many other misunderstood species of Sims nature.

On a Sunday morning, the residents of Lonely Island can be found like all civilised Simmies partaking in quiet reflection upon whatever scriptures they may follow for their spiritual health before the traditional hearty Sunday lunch.

Which if you’re Haily Farber, means having a pillow fight in the middle of Lonely Island’s graveyard with Elysia Knaith to amuse all the non-resurrected.

‘Okay Haily, you win again, I’m out of puff! Oh, come to think of it I’m out of groceries as well, I’ll need to nip over to the shop before the other locals come out from church, you know how weird they act whenever any of us livormorts are about!’

‘Hahaha, okay. I’ll need to get the place tidied up first as I’m playing Dungeons And Dungeons this afternoon. Are you, the Tyneham sisters and the others still finding the rest of them unfriendly?’

‘As much as always. Still acting like we’re going to eat their brains or their grannies – innit marvellous! Until we’re all self sufficient though, we’ll just have to put up with it!’

‘Yeah, but you shouldn’t have to. If it wasn’t for you and the others they wouldn’t have this nice peaceful island unspoiled by the rat race they wanted to escape from in the first place.‘

‘Suppose so. Anyway, catch you later.’

‘ ‘Ang on a minute, did she say Dungeons and Dungeons ?’

The main shop on Lonely Island is the Ye Olde Lonely Island Shoppe, which sells just about everything, and on occasion this includes things people want.

As one of the central hubs of the island community, it is a frequent place for the island’s Sims, both normal and Livormort communities, to interact, except that interaction only appears to stretch as far as saying ‘That will be §559, please.’

Bit like EA with their customers, come to think of it.

Interaction beyond that, except for a few honourable cases, is somewhere between non-existent and the realms of science fiction.

Exempli gratia. ‘Est non is mire!’

‘Er, can I – um – be of any assistance, possibly?’

He with the hat is Leopoldo Coker, the book merchant.

‘Oh I don’t wanna be accused of being a queue jumper mate: the young gentleman with the ten gallon hat on a two pint head was first. He’d like to choose which from your extensive selection of premier windows he will be going through at high speed!’

‘Oh, erm, ahahaha, I do beg your pardon, unfortunately I’m afraid some of the younger members of the island community are finding it rather hard to adjust to their new life on the island. It is after all a very different experience from what they’re used to on the mainland, the big city life with showbiz celebrities around.’

‘They’re finding it hard to adjust? He ought to try the experience I’ve been adjusting from sometime, sooner rather than later if he keeps that bleeding attitude up! Bad as his bloody neo-hippy parents.’

‘Um, er, it’s nothing personal, nothing against the, erm, undead members of our community, it’s more a case of finding it all too quiet and too few people of his own age on the island. Young Whitsun Winterbottom and his sister Shrove aren’t sharing their parents enthusiasm for a more eco-conscious existence out here.’

‘Typical kids, always bloody moaning that they’re bored and there’s nothing to do!’

‘If you ask me, it needs to be shown that anything they can do on the mainland we can do as well. We’ve got an indoor pool, games room and concert room beneath the Grubb Club, let’s bring a few acts over to do a night!’

‘In that case, you ought to see the Idchai’s over on the side of the island near to Cloverstardrop Keep. They worked in the entertainment’s business until last summer. Maybe they can use their contacts to help?’

‘Wha… you sure? You ain’t having a laugh, are you?’

‘Why do you think they’re out here? Tax exiles!’

‘Right, that settles it, best see if I can get some show on the road then – or rather the boat! But first, a pound of spuds and cheese, two dozen eggs and a packet of Figwit Flame & Life Fruit Fraiche please?’

Heading past Cloverstardrop Keep, Elysia was in luck as M’boza and Klammis Idchai were at home.

‘A concert? Why, that’s a great idea! Not so sure you could get any celebrities to come over though.’

‘Oh, that was kinda what we were hoping. I know you’ve quit showbiz, but we were all hoping, perhaps…’

‘I could pull a few strings? Call in a favour from some past client for old times’ sake?’

‘Erm, something like that. I know it’s asking a lot, but it would mean a great deal to the people here.’

‘I think you need to speak to my wife. I dealt more with the promoting and tour organising side of our business, she was the one on first name terms with the stars.’

Inside the Idchai’s home, Klammis listened to Elysia’s request, but poured cold water on it.

‘I know you mean well, but trying to get anyone to come out here with the Butterflies of Doom around is next to impossible. At least, that’s the excuse they’ll use. Or they’ll ask for a ridiculous fee on the excuse it’s not good for their career playing the back of beyond that’s more than everyone here put together could afford.’

‘We could sell tickets for entry, that would recoup some of the cost. There’s sure to be people coming over from the mainland wanting to see it. You know the sort: they’ll spend happily thousands of Simoleons if they hear their idols are playing a secret gig in some tiny club just to say they were there.’

‘You’d still be looking at §1000 a ticket to break even. There may be Simmies on the mainland with that kinda money to burn, but on Lonely Island? If the concert’s meant to bring everyone together, kinda pointless if they’re the very ones left out, hon!’

‘Mmmm, suppose so. Innit marvellous!’

‘If you want my advice, you’re looking at this the wrong way. Don’t help emphasise how good it is off the island, you’ve gotta show ’em how good it is on – showcase the talent that’s here. So what if they’re not platinum disc stadium sellouts? I’ll bet if you ask around you’ll find every bit as good musicians as the overpaid bums my M’boza and I dealt with down the years, and with a fraction of the egos! ‘